Nature – My Nemesis?

I don’t like Adventure Sports! There, I said It!

I don’t like becoming one with nature, so go sue me!

Recently, I went to (read “was forced into going to”) an outbound activity (is that even a real term , or just some corporate mumbo-jumbo??) where I was made to face one of my worst fears – Nature in its entire glory ! And that included- mud, ants, elephant sized mosquitoes, getting hit by leaves and twigs in the face, and smelling animal poo! And this was not all. I was expected to, happily, go rock climbing (on algae stained, slippery rocks), jump off using ropes (not a chance in hell that I’ll do that!!), cross a river (a term that was loosely used for a 1 foot deep puddle of water ,laying over a bed of tiny rock like things) on a rope, and swing off a tree using a (no surprises here) rope, in a very Tarzan-Jane sort of a way.

So, as any intelligent human would do, I refused! Point-Blank! And why shouldn’t I? What sane grown-up would knowingly put his/her life into the hands of a “trained” and “qualified” mountaineer, who was enjoying clicking pictures on her face-sized smart phone, rather than paying attention to the hormone-driven “young” boys trying to impress her with their ape-like antics! If she wouldn’t notice them, I had a slim chance of getting her to notice me, Ms ButterFingers!

And not a second after my refusal, I became the point of discussion and ridicule! It was as if I had committed a sin by not doing these cirque du soleil-adjacent activities. As if, I had snatched a meal from the hands of a Somalian kid! And they sniggered at my lack of courage, which in their eyes was just an excuse for the fact that I am fat and can’t do any of those things because i feel ,the equipment can’t take my weight.  Well, that thought did go through my mind, but it was mostly the thought of being perched up on a rope in the middle of nowhere, staring down at a bed of sharp rocks, that made me shit my pants and call quits.

On my way back from there, and it was a long way back, I was wondering about why there is this need that people have, to judge others on anything and everything that they themselves can do! Who died and made adventure-sports the next yardstick to judge the kind of person you are? Why is it, that if I am scared to allow a stranger to let me hang from a rope, I am a fool but If I refuse giving a lift in my a car to a stranger, I am smart? Why is it , that if I am extra careful with putting my life in danger during adventure sports, I am an imbecile but If I do the same during, say driving my car, I am a responsible adult? Aren’t we giving a complete stranger an opportunity to do as they please with us, in all these situations?

Don’t try and correct me, if you think I am wrong, because I took enough judging as it is, from dumb-twits who were out to out-macho each other! And to those dumb-twits I have just one question to ask – Over-compensating much?