Rediscovery

continued from A Leap

“I would like to meet Mr. Shakespeare and tell him what really is in a name”,she thought to herself.Standing in that huge circle made up of people she had known barely a few moments, she was faced with the most irritating challenges.They had all just been asked to introduce themselves in a unique way, expressing their names through some representative action and sound.”Did my parents really have to choose this name for me? Why not something as simple as a Roshni or Diya or Pumpkin for that matter??Why this weird no-name of a name ,which has no meaning, no possibility of being broken into mini-words of meaning,no sound reflective of its meaning?”While all these questions crowded her mind, people before her, had had their chance and done well.Now, it was her turn.All the eyes looking at her , all the hearts thumping hard.In a split second, she came up with some action that had nothing to do with the name , but somehow helped get the name across(Well,she used the cheerleaderish way of expressing a word!!).It was done.Over.And she didn’t feel like as big a fool as she thought she would.Phew!!She didn’t know it then, but this one act of foolishness was to redefine her life in ways that were inexplicable at that moment.It was then that she started deleting the “I” in “inhibition”.She knew that her own mind was playing tricks on her, telling her to do something a particular way and to do it that way only, any other way would be madness,pure madness!!

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No man is born fully clothed.No man is born with inhibitions.What is it that makes us want to fit the pre-approved mould,even if it means trimming down parts of our being?At the risk of sounding preachy, I would like to point out that it is no one else but us,you and me.We see and hear things around us and start believing in them ,without questioning or reasoning the need for it in our lives.We do so because it is the easier thing to do,it takes less effort in following than leading.Questioning an established school of thought leads to friction and with so much trouble in our already,over-complicated lives, who needs more friction?

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“If only everyone here knew what  laughing out loud, from the pit of the stomach , rolling on the floor,getting in physical contact with strange people, means for a convent educated, prim and proper girl.It means un-learning everything that the school had taught you about lady-like behaviour.If only….” She was trying hard not to let the convent bred school girl inside her get the better of her natural, wilder self.After all, imitating an animal or a lifeless machine in front of so many people, does take much convincing.After a while though, the wounds that were caused by the ripping apart of the fake skin ,healed.She settled in her new self.She started mingling with people, learning new ways of expressing the same emotion.She understood how sometimes acting like the greatest fool can help you get your sanity back.

As she went back home that day and tried to reflect upon what happened ,she knew one thing.Things would never be the same again.

to be continued……